To say we’re in an age of men behaving badly is a bit of an understatement. From the president on down, through every industry, from the living to the dead, headlines shout of malfeasance, intimidation, assault, cowardice, thievery; you name it, it’s all there.
I could whine that it’s a little deflating-which it is-but it’s certainly not a surprise. Men have for too long have been given the wink-wink, nudge-nudge treatment and the lame excuse that “boys will be boys.”
As a man, a dude, a guy, I’ll admit that I’ve made mistakes in my life, many I’m not particularly proud of: I’ve raised my voice, thrown a temper tantrum or two, and perhaps expressed an opinion that wasn’t loved by all. However, I do think I’ve been a pretty stand-up guy throughout my life. I think it’s important to be honest and forthright. I don’t think it’s ok to steal. I don’t think that because there are women where you work that it was ok for you to tell them skivvy jokes, hit on them, or make comments on their appearance-however well-intended. You’re there to do a job just as they were. How is that difficult?
This is probably wildly out of fashion, but then I’m aging out to use a popular term.
Still, there are positive aspects of those old fashioned ways that we tend to forget or ignore.
It’s not the end of the world to get to know someone before you sleep with them. In many respects it’s a much better process. Sure, it’s not as convenient as a face on a phone, alcohol, mediocre sex, and possible misunderstandings when all you really want is to get laid? That,and it leads to many entertaining books and articles on bad dates and crappy unsatisfying sex. Long term, it’s just not terribly satisfying.
It’s also deflating and leads to poor choices.
I also like to lobby for being honest and upstanding. Again, quaint and so yesterday. But, there is something to be said for being responsible, doing what you said you’d do, even doing it because it’s the right thing to do, maybe even without being asked! And while lying seems to be acceptable these days-mostly-I still believe it’s not a good way to live. If you’re truthful, you don’t have to explain yourself time and time again, which only makes the lies that much more complicated and unbelievable.
Now, I recognize that if your desire is to be rich and famous, and you rely on the entertainment media to guide you by example, then being decent and honest might seem pointless, but there are those who find wealth and fame and are that, honest and decent. The problem with them is they’re not interesting in the voyeuristic kind of way we’ve become addicted to and therefore do little to buoy the media’s bottom line.
Which is too bad, because what we really need today is to focus more on the good than the outrageous or the terrible or the gross or the criminal.
It’s just not a very good story.
©2019 David William Pearce