We Can’t Have That!

Uh-oh, someone left a spoon in the sink! That won’t do!

Hi, and welcome to the land of eccentric obsessives.

It’s possible many of you out there are about as concerned a stray spoon is in the sink, as you are that all the blades of grass in the yard are not the same length. It’s also possible that you are in the majority who could care less. Personally, I’ve moved on when it comes to grass: too many individual blades and all that.

Spoons in the sink?

Trivial? Perhaps, but in a world gone mad, I think not.

The world is mad?

That may be self-evident, depending on how you see the world, but let’s focus foremost on loose utensils maring the beauty of an empty sink. Much like a cleaned out closet, a clean sink exudes calm and serenity, something much needed in these hectic modern times filled with twitter posts, Instagram messages, and subReddit threads. Our nature cruelly and seductively pulls us into unwanted and unneeded stress when exposed to the all enveloping world of other people’s opinions and influences.

For me, and those like me, the answer lies in organization and a bunker-like mentality. By that, I mean I don’t live in a bunker waiting for the big one-that’s like so 60’s, man! Instead, I have my personal oasis in which I barricade myself from the hostiles waiting and watching just outside the door.

That means, naturally, my oasis must, as mentioned above, exude calm and serenity, and absent minded spoons lollygagging in sinks blows calm and serenity to kingdom come. Ignore it you say. Easier said than done. They cry clean me, put me away, or use me. This marrs the calming vista I need and so, with an all consuming mania, the spoon is cleaned, put away, or used in an order than makes sense at that particular moment at that particular time in the cosmic narrative of the universe. The last part is important.

Seriously.

It’s possible some may find this humorous, foolish, even disturbing. There may be a suggestion that I seek counseling. My wife occasionally brings this up. But I know, from the deepest recesses of my personal being, that order bring order, and that order brings calm and serenity when one is not obsessively on the lookout for spoons in sinks.

And yes, I know how that sounds.

©2020 David William Pearce